A Letter to God (explicit)

God

Please give me some sign that I am not evil. That I don't have the personality or the ability to bring out the worst in people. Will I live like a scared child hoping the big bad people won't hurt me? That the number of demons I struggle with. I use to pray everyday to you begging for you to take away my pain, to protect me to love me, to hold me in your protective arms. To send someone to help me understand your place for me but in stead you send a pervert my way. You knew i needed to know someone gave a damn enough to protect me unlike my father his friends my mother, my sisters, my church my friends. What did I do wrong or do you even exist Are you just a fable to have people believe that no matter what they do they can be forgiven and held to your bosom, why do they count and i am left to fight their battles. Cause they ask for forgiveness and i ask for justice and you deny me.



YOU DENY ME EVERY TIME YOU FORGIVE THE MEN WHO HAVE DESTROYED, PART OF ME THAT I CAN'T LIVE WITH. HOW DARE YOU! YOU FAILED ME THE ALL MIGHTY GOD YOU FAILED ME. YOU FAILED ME. YOU ARE NO GOD YOUR NOT FAITHFUL AND MERCIFULLY. YOU DESTROYED ME! YOU COULD OF STOPPED IT I WAS ONLY 12. I WAS A BABY.


I don't care that more trials make one great i don't want to be great i want to feel alive without fer and without sadness because of your neglect.