So many things that are going through my mind right now, i think my head is about to explode. Next Friday Ted and I have to go to San Francisco for another round of back injections, i'm not looking forward to that, there is one thing that nearly kills me is seeing Ted in pain. And after last times shots i'm wondering how its going to go this time, I know i'll get into get it done mode, to make sure he's comfortable, or as comfortable as he can be, and this time we will be spending 2 days in Santa Rosa, so he can rest and we don't have to put undue strain on his back, and i have some time to unwind too!

Ted is on another new medication, and i'm about sick of all of it. I guess he couldn't sleep last night so it looks like he was going through workers comp stuff, and i'm afraid that he's going to become more and more stressed out then he already is, and then what, there isn't a lot of patience going around this house as of late, so we don't do a whole lot of deep discussions because we both lose our tempers rather quickly. Some days I find it hard to feel any compassion for Ted because he hasn't done anything the doctor has recommended he do for his back, and for me its like how are you suppose to get to a point where the pain is manageable if you don't try anything. I find it so frustrating, I know that this is a lot and i know there is always a point where you think nothing will work, but Dr. Khan his pain management doctor has given us a little hope that we can make this better, but i feel if you don't at least try your not going to get any better!!!! So i have become a little impatient with Ted when he says he's done all he can and nothing is helping, and that there is just nothing he can do, when he hasn't done anything the doctor has recommended, cause its going to take time she says but there will be a point where we can get this under control, i guess he didn't hear that part.

I don't know how to encourage him anymore, seems everything i've done falls on deaf ears, and he's just going to wallow, it just feels very out of control and that's what i can't stand, is that i have no control over the situation and that drives me nuts, if i could put Ted into boot camp i so would!! But its just not that easy! I don't know what to do for the man anymore!!! And that hurts.

Anyway on to other things, i have officially started my bookkeeping exam, and i know i was complaining how 100 pages was a lot, but it seemed to get just a little bigger once i started writing for an hour and a half, in iddity bitty little lines with my big hand writing. Good grief. Ted was kind enough to rub my poor hand after i had finished a bout of the exam, this is gonna be a challenge and i will end up with arthritis in my right hand after this exam LOL.